[There's a lot of information to process on arrival - the facts about where she is and why, the fact that her friends who were, for the most part, dead on the mountain are alive again here. Chris and Mike and Matt had been dead for a matter of hours, not really long enough for that truth to truly sink in to Sam's brain, but Beth and Hannah had been missing and presumed dead for a year. Somehow, being told that they're both here and alive feels like something from a dream, maybe because Sam did dream it any number of times during the past 365 nights. In her dreams, she always knew exactly what to say. She doesn't now.
( She can forgive Sam for not knowing what to say because Beth doesn't either. Finding Hannah had been one thing, and though she'd been saddened by it it was almost inevitable. They'd both fallen off the cliff, how could they survive? But then there'd been Chris and Emily, even Matt and Mike joining them. And now Sam. Getting her head around being here - alive - was hard, but having all of her friends joining her? Joining her from the future? How could you know where to start? )
Pretty confused. I mean, there's being here and then there's everything that's happened to you guys.
( The things in Hadriel, the things up on the mountain. Beth hasn't heard much of them but she's heard that the psycho is there. Still there, and that it's not the same time for them )
[No surprise there. If Chris and Emily told Hannah that she became a wendigo, it makes sense that they'd tell Beth about the night on the mountain. For Sam, it's only been a matter of hours, but it feels in some ways like it's still happening to her.]
Yeah, pretty crazy, right? Chris said he's been here almost a whole year already. But I just saw him a few hours ago. Kinda makes my head spin to think about how that works.
[Not just the passage of time, either. The fact that all of them are alive here, when everyone except Emily was dead, from what Sam remembered.]
[After her shift with the coffee cart today, Emily is craving tea, of all things, so as soon as she gets to the house, she heads for the kitchen to brew herself some.
Now that there are seven of them living in the house, there's a good chance someone will be in the kitchen at any given time. Today, it's Beth who's there.
Immediately, Emily's shoulders tense a little. She has yet to apologize to Beth (too much shit going on at once, sorry). With any luck, Hannah will have told Beth that Emily said she was sorry about the prank, and that'll make it easier to say the same to Beth when the time comes.
For now, though, she's not really up for opening with that, so she goes to fill a pot with water.]
Grab a mug if you want some tea.
[Which is to say, "Do you want some tea? I'm boiling enough water for the both of us."]
( There's been some awkward moments with them all being there - wounds still fresh from that night, uncomfortable encounters with seven of them living in one house... it's been an experience to say the least, and with so much happening they haven't really had the chance to talk. Really talk. As much as leaving things for time can be bad maybe it's been good too. It's let Beth talk to Hannah, let Hannah explain things, and it's let Beth try and put things past herself. Emily's been good to them while they've been there - they've all stayed together, and made sure each other was safe. That's more than a prank, even if her wounds run a little deeper than just that. (But that part wasn't Emily's fault. Not 100%).
So when Emily offers her the tea there's a few seconds before Beth actually moves. A few seconds to register the offer, and then to think that it would be good - to sit and talk, even if she didn't have the tea )
Thanks. ( For the tea, but also for more than that. For letting them stay, for (she assumes) looking out for Hannah ) Are we still on the plain stuff?
( Plain tea is fine, when you don't sometimes wish you could have a variety )
[It's not that Emily has been avoiding Beth or the others. It's more that she's used to living here now, with fewer people in the house and more to do outside of it. She's used to the walk to the bar to pick up the coffee cart and her route through the city for her morning trip; used to the quick trek to the sewing shop and the sights along the way; used to the usual company at the shop, used to meeting weekly with Glacius to talk about home and culture, used to Pell coming over to cook now and then, used to sharing a memory with Delight when she needs fabric.
She's lucky, she guesses, that Hannah got here before all the others did. The chance to talk to her one on one without more potential awkwardness is one she's grateful for, and it has made things a little less awkward than they could be.
Mostly, the tension is brought on by guilt, but that will go away in time -- or at least it'll fade into the background, quiet more often than not, finally letting them settle into being friends again, stronger and better than before. (She misses that, being friends with them all, the comfortable back and forth they shared before everything went to shit.)
Emily turns on the stove and sets the pot down on it, glancing over her shoulder at Beth.]
Yeah. [She shrugs in acknowledgement of the thanks.] Delight keeps us supplied with good coffee, so we're not, like, aiming to bother her more for now. I think the clinic staff were starting to keep a list of edible plants and fruits, though, if you wanted to try making tea from that? And some people have asked for plants from their home world.
[She shrugs again, going to the cupboard for a mug. The tea she gets more of than normal, enough for both of them.
Now it feels awkward. There's a second or two more of silence before Emily says the first thing she can think of that isn't totally random and dorky.] You could ask any of the gods for tea if you want. Delight's the nicest, though.
( Not that she had any idea of how to make tea from plants but maybe someone would. After finally starting to get her head around being here she was also starting to need something to do - she could feel it. It wasn't exactly boredom but a kind of crazy, not sure what was going to happen, not sure what to do. Maybe tea wouldn't be the best thing but it was something for now )
What's the coffee like?
( Not just the coffee that they have but Beth knows that Emily's got the coffee cart. At least that's something to do, right? )
They could use the help. [There's a brief pause as Emily thinks about it, the small number of people at the clinic when she stops by with the coffee cart in the mornings.] You'd be good at medic stuff, probably. [Beth is tough like that.
Plenty of people know the most random shit here, Beth will totally be able to find someone to teach her about making tea.]
It's really good. I gave Chris a description to give Delight for what good coffee's like, so we have like, the best kind. People here like it too.
[Emily has ruined them for Starbucks and other shitty coffee brands. You're welcome, Hadriel.]
( There's a shrug at the suggestion before Beth drinks some of her tea. She'd never thought about what she was going to do in life with that much long-term thought before. Then here she didn't think she'd ever need to think of it. She wasn't going home, but she could still do something here )
Good job you did. We'd probably have something else if Chris had done it.
( Add that as something to put on her list. Find out more about the gods, or what favours with them are. Maybe having something would be nice, if the trade wasn't too bad )
Tea in hand, she goes and sits across from Beth at the table. It's equal parts an invitation to keep the conversation going, and an offering to talk about things they should probably have talked about a long time ago.]
Right? He's such an idiot for anything that's not computer shit. [She gives a little laugh and has a sip of tea.
Okay, this at least is easy to talk about.] Yeah. I get fabric from Delight every time I tell her a memory that makes me happy. The deal is good for everyone. That's why we have different colors. Why, you want to ask for something?
( Maybe when Beth had figured things out a little more it would be something she'd do, at least if there was anything that she wanted. At least it didn't sound like Delight was too bad to deal with )
Sharing a memory doesn't sound that bad. Are they all as simple?
[Emily won't be sharing the bit about what Hope asked her to do she got what she wanted from him anyway so whatever, but she knows that Delight hands out the easiest requests.]
I haven't asked anyone else for anything, but like, think about it. Rage might want you to go kill someone, or make someone kill someone, shit like that. [Rage loves murder, probably. Never forget that one horrible event where nearly everyone wanted to commit murder because of her.] And I don't even want to think about what Confusion would ask for.
Shit. ( Well, I guess that's what happens when you try and get what you want. It's not all easy going. Beth knows that the events usually go hand in hand with who they are but she didn't expect it to be everything ) Yeah, Confusion getting revived was bad enough.
( Getting lost somewhere unfriendly was bad. Being confused about what was happening- she was glad it hadn't lasted long )
[Nodding, Emily takes a long drink of her tea. This place sure as hell makes you think about whether or not you really want something, and if you're willing to pay to get it. If the gods were able to bring specific people here on request, what would they ask for in exchange?
She's not sure she'd be willing to give it, even though she desperately wanted Matt to be here. Thank goodness he's here anyway. And Hannah, and Beth, and Sam, and Chris. Even Mike. Now if only the others would show up again, then they could--
Well. Maybe then they could really start to deal.]
Hey, Beth, I-- [Just blurt it out, Em. It'll be worth it. And who knows if Beth will be here even an hour from now? What if this is her last chance to say this?]
I'm sorry. About the prank. I was mad, and I was jealous, but it-- we went too far.
[The words are easier to say now that she's had some practice, but Emily still feels the guilt of it like she's only just heard the news that the twins had officially been declared missing.]
( For about a minute after Em's confession Beth doesn't say anything. It felt like it came out of nowhere, even if it was something that was kind of overdue, and it catches her off guard meaning she doesn't know what to say.
After that minute she puts her cup down, dipping her head for a few seconds before looking back up, eyes not quite meeting Emily's )
Yeah, you did.
( She doesn't sound angry - she isn't any more. Now Beth is just sad, and that's more for what happened after the prank rather than because of it, but that part isn't Emily's fault. They didn't know what was out there )
Hannah told me you talked to her. ( There's a sort of shrug, and Beth looks directly at her now ) You kept her safe - kept us safe. Thanks.
[That is hands down one of the most terrifying minutes of Emily's life. It sucks, knowing you deserve that silence, that rejection. That you broke your friend's trust and she's totally in her right never to trust you again.
And then Beth speaks, and Emily lets out a breath she'd been holding for longer than she cares to think about. God. God. Beth's not mad at her. Beth is better than all of the rest of them put together. Things could be okay after all, just like she and Carlisle had talked about.
So why is that so terrifying? Why is the good outcome so frightening to consider?
Emily looks away when Beth meets her gaze, then forces herself to look back at her.] It's the least I could do.
[It's what she should've done that night, but-- well, no way to go back now.]
I'm really glad you guys are here now. It sucks, but like, you're here. We're all--
( She doesn't quite mean for it to come out - the fact that Beth knows that she's dead is something she's not been wanting to admit, or really think about. She'd told Hannah that the last thing that she remembered was giving Hannah her coat.
The one surprise of this admittance though is that Beth feels relieved. She hadn't expected that - she thought that she'd regret saying it, because god it was awkward enough already, but she actually feels relieved. Admitting it, having someone else know that she knows - that they don't have to walk around on eggshells about the future - is pretty fucking relieving )
You guys talk about going back up there. No one mentions us.
( It's how she knows, or actually guesses, that Hannah is dead too. As much as she'd like to hope that her sister could survive the fall- no one mentions her being there )
You-- [know? Obviously. Beth wouldn't be mentioning it otherwise.]
Yeah.
[Emily looks down at her mug, biting her lips. Hannah doesn't know because it seemed too cruel a story to tell her. Hey, so after you and Beth ran off into that storm, you fell off a cliff. Beth died, you didn't. You broke your leg and couldn't get out. You made it thirty days before the spirits on the mountain made you dig up and eat Beth, and then you got possessed by a wendigo.
(She was pretty much dead by then anyway. Emily stopped being Emily once the transformation was complete. Shit, she barely remembers anything from before then. In a way, it's true that Hannah died. It just took longer for her to get there.)
Look at Beth, Em. Look at Beth when you talk to her. Breathe and look up. She does just that.]
Yeah. I, um-- We didn't know how to tell you, so we just-- [She pauses, shrugs.] Beth, I'm so, so sorry.
Forget it. It's not like it's a great conversation.
( Beth suspects that part of Emily's apology is for the fact that she's dead as well as for them not talking to her about it but she hadn't wanted to think about. Yeah she's dead, and yeah the prank is what made them go out there and get caught, but Emily hadn't pushed her. It wasn't her fault )
Besides, there's been more important things happening.
( Zombies trying to kill them upped awkward conversations )
[It's hands down one of the worst conversations possible, so Emily is more than happy to move on from it. She can apologize until she's blue in the face, but it won't change the fact that back home, Beth is dead because Emily couldn't deal with Hannah's crush, or the insecurity of your boyfriend being class president.]
More life-threatening things, yeah. [More important... Emily's not sure. She hates not knowing.] It fucking sucks, just waiting for the next thing to happen.
[Emily doesn't take it that way anyway. She tends to block out the imagined details of what it must have been like for Beth and Hannah.]
Yeah. [She pauses, wonders if she should say this at all. Why not? They're being honest here.] When it was just Chris and Hannah and me, that was really hard. Ash and Josh disappeared one after the other, and it was just... rough. Like, we bonded and all of that, but it's a lot better with so many of us here now.
[Seeing them around almost makes it feel like nothing bad ever happened. Or, like Carlisle said, gives her hope that she can make up for the bad that did happen.]
More people to band together against the shit the gods do.
( If only they could do more about that shit, to have hope. Or more hope. She's always hoping that being together means that they'll be okay, that they can keep each other safe but there's too much bad crap here for her to really believe it )
I guess there's some things it makes easier. I mean you already know us.
( And some of them can put up with some of the others's crap )
I don't know. [She shrugs.] My friend Glacius says there might be. He wouldn't lie to me. [She pauses, sighs.] I don't want to get my hopes up, though.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice. decided to go here instead, hope that's cool!
But she has to start somewhere.]
Hey, Beth.
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Hey. I guess you just got here too?
( Nothing is awkward everything is fine )
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[And talked to Emily, and Matt, and Chris. And sat in the living room, trying to figure out what the hell she even could say to Beth and Hannah.]
How are you doing? With - you know, everything.
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( The things in Hadriel, the things up on the mountain. Beth hasn't heard much of them but she's heard that the psycho is there. Still there, and that it's not the same time for them )
I can't believe how long they've been here.
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[No surprise there. If Chris and Emily told Hannah that she became a wendigo, it makes sense that they'd tell Beth about the night on the mountain. For Sam, it's only been a matter of hours, but it feels in some ways like it's still happening to her.]
Yeah, pretty crazy, right? Chris said he's been here almost a whole year already. But I just saw him a few hours ago. Kinda makes my head spin to think about how that works.
[Not just the passage of time, either. The fact that all of them are alive here, when everyone except Emily was dead, from what Sam remembered.]
10/20, action
Now that there are seven of them living in the house, there's a good chance someone will be in the kitchen at any given time. Today, it's Beth who's there.
Immediately, Emily's shoulders tense a little. She has yet to apologize to Beth (too much shit going on at once, sorry). With any luck, Hannah will have told Beth that Emily said she was sorry about the prank, and that'll make it easier to say the same to Beth when the time comes.
For now, though, she's not really up for opening with that, so she goes to fill a pot with water.]
Grab a mug if you want some tea.
[Which is to say, "Do you want some tea? I'm boiling enough water for the both of us."]
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So when Emily offers her the tea there's a few seconds before Beth actually moves. A few seconds to register the offer, and then to think that it would be good - to sit and talk, even if she didn't have the tea )
Thanks. ( For the tea, but also for more than that. For letting them stay, for (she assumes) looking out for Hannah ) Are we still on the plain stuff?
( Plain tea is fine, when you don't sometimes wish you could have a variety )
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She's lucky, she guesses, that Hannah got here before all the others did. The chance to talk to her one on one without more potential awkwardness is one she's grateful for, and it has made things a little less awkward than they could be.
Mostly, the tension is brought on by guilt, but that will go away in time -- or at least it'll fade into the background, quiet more often than not, finally letting them settle into being friends again, stronger and better than before. (She misses that, being friends with them all, the comfortable back and forth they shared before everything went to shit.)
Emily turns on the stove and sets the pot down on it, glancing over her shoulder at Beth.]
Yeah. [She shrugs in acknowledgement of the thanks.] Delight keeps us supplied with good coffee, so we're not, like, aiming to bother her more for now. I think the clinic staff were starting to keep a list of edible plants and fruits, though, if you wanted to try making tea from that? And some people have asked for plants from their home world.
[She shrugs again, going to the cupboard for a mug. The tea she gets more of than normal, enough for both of them.
Now it feels awkward. There's a second or two more of silence before Emily says the first thing she can think of that isn't totally random and dorky.] You could ask any of the gods for tea if you want. Delight's the nicest, though.
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( Not that she had any idea of how to make tea from plants but maybe someone would. After finally starting to get her head around being here she was also starting to need something to do - she could feel it. It wasn't exactly boredom but a kind of crazy, not sure what was going to happen, not sure what to do. Maybe tea wouldn't be the best thing but it was something for now )
What's the coffee like?
( Not just the coffee that they have but Beth knows that Emily's got the coffee cart. At least that's something to do, right? )
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Plenty of people know the most random shit here, Beth will totally be able to find someone to teach her about making tea.]
It's really good. I gave Chris a description to give Delight for what good coffee's like, so we have like, the best kind. People here like it too.
[Emily has ruined them for Starbucks and other shitty coffee brands. You're welcome, Hadriel.]
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( There's a shrug at the suggestion before Beth drinks some of her tea. She'd never thought about what she was going to do in life with that much long-term thought before. Then here she didn't think she'd ever need to think of it. She wasn't going home, but she could still do something here )
Good job you did. We'd probably have something else if Chris had done it.
( Add that as something to put on her list. Find out more about the gods, or what favours with them are. Maybe having something would be nice, if the trade wasn't too bad )
Have you asked them for anything else?
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Tea in hand, she goes and sits across from Beth at the table. It's equal parts an invitation to keep the conversation going, and an offering to talk about things they should probably have talked about a long time ago.]
Right? He's such an idiot for anything that's not computer shit. [She gives a little laugh and has a sip of tea.
Okay, this at least is easy to talk about.] Yeah. I get fabric from Delight every time I tell her a memory that makes me happy. The deal is good for everyone. That's why we have different colors. Why, you want to ask for something?
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( Maybe when Beth had figured things out a little more it would be something she'd do, at least if there was anything that she wanted. At least it didn't sound like Delight was too bad to deal with )
Sharing a memory doesn't sound that bad. Are they all as simple?
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[Emily won't be sharing the bit about what Hope asked her to do
she got what she wanted from him anyway so whatever, but she knows that Delight hands out the easiest requests.]I haven't asked anyone else for anything, but like, think about it. Rage might want you to go kill someone, or make someone kill someone, shit like that. [Rage loves murder, probably. Never forget that one horrible event where nearly everyone wanted to commit murder because of her.] And I don't even want to think about what Confusion would ask for.
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( Getting lost somewhere unfriendly was bad. Being confused about what was happening- she was glad it hadn't lasted long )
Guess if I want anything I'll pick carefully.
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She's not sure she'd be willing to give it, even though she desperately wanted Matt to be here. Thank goodness he's here anyway. And Hannah, and Beth, and Sam, and Chris. Even Mike. Now if only the others would show up again, then they could--
Well. Maybe then they could really start to deal.]
Hey, Beth, I-- [Just blurt it out, Em. It'll be worth it. And who knows if Beth will be here even an hour from now? What if this is her last chance to say this?]
I'm sorry. About the prank. I was mad, and I was jealous, but it-- we went too far.
[The words are easier to say now that she's had some practice, but Emily still feels the guilt of it like she's only just heard the news that the twins had officially been declared missing.]
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After that minute she puts her cup down, dipping her head for a few seconds before looking back up, eyes not quite meeting Emily's )
Yeah, you did.
( She doesn't sound angry - she isn't any more. Now Beth is just sad, and that's more for what happened after the prank rather than because of it, but that part isn't Emily's fault. They didn't know what was out there )
Hannah told me you talked to her. ( There's a sort of shrug, and Beth looks directly at her now ) You kept her safe - kept us safe. Thanks.
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And then Beth speaks, and Emily lets out a breath she'd been holding for longer than she cares to think about. God. God. Beth's not mad at her. Beth is better than all of the rest of them put together. Things could be okay after all, just like she and Carlisle had talked about.
So why is that so terrifying? Why is the good outcome so frightening to consider?
Emily looks away when Beth meets her gaze, then forces herself to look back at her.] It's the least I could do.
[It's what she should've done that night, but-- well, no way to go back now.]
I'm really glad you guys are here now. It sucks, but like, you're here. We're all--
[Alive.]
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( She doesn't quite mean for it to come out - the fact that Beth knows that she's dead is something she's not been wanting to admit, or really think about. She'd told Hannah that the last thing that she remembered was giving Hannah her coat.
The one surprise of this admittance though is that Beth feels relieved. She hadn't expected that - she thought that she'd regret saying it, because god it was awkward enough already, but she actually feels relieved. Admitting it, having someone else know that she knows - that they don't have to walk around on eggshells about the future - is pretty fucking relieving )
You guys talk about going back up there. No one mentions us.
( It's how she knows, or actually guesses, that Hannah is dead too. As much as she'd like to hope that her sister could survive the fall- no one mentions her being there )
I already knew. But Hannah doesn't.
( Or so Beth thinks )
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You-- [know? Obviously. Beth wouldn't be mentioning it otherwise.]
Yeah.
[Emily looks down at her mug, biting her lips. Hannah doesn't know because it seemed too cruel a story to tell her. Hey, so after you and Beth ran off into that storm, you fell off a cliff. Beth died, you didn't. You broke your leg and couldn't get out. You made it thirty days before the spirits on the mountain made you dig up and eat Beth, and then you got possessed by a wendigo.
(She was pretty much dead by then anyway. Emily stopped being Emily once the transformation was complete. Shit, she barely remembers anything from before then. In a way, it's true that Hannah died. It just took longer for her to get there.)
Look at Beth, Em. Look at Beth when you talk to her. Breathe and look up. She does just that.]
Yeah. I, um-- We didn't know how to tell you, so we just-- [She pauses, shrugs.] Beth, I'm so, so sorry.
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( Beth suspects that part of Emily's apology is for the fact that she's dead as well as for them not talking to her about it but she hadn't wanted to think about. Yeah she's dead, and yeah the prank is what made them go out there and get caught, but Emily hadn't pushed her. It wasn't her fault )
Besides, there's been more important things happening.
( Zombies trying to kill them upped awkward conversations )
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More life-threatening things, yeah. [More important... Emily's not sure. She hates not knowing.] It fucking sucks, just waiting for the next thing to happen.
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( It isn't meant as a dig about her own death, that they were out alone when they died, just that they're all together )
But yeah. It's pretty shit.
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Yeah. [She pauses, wonders if she should say this at all. Why not? They're being honest here.] When it was just Chris and Hannah and me, that was really hard. Ash and Josh disappeared one after the other, and it was just... rough. Like, we bonded and all of that, but it's a lot better with so many of us here now.
[Seeing them around almost makes it feel like nothing bad ever happened. Or, like Carlisle said, gives her hope that she can make up for the bad that did happen.]
More people to band together against the shit the gods do.
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( If only they could do more about that shit, to have hope. Or more hope. She's always hoping that being together means that they'll be okay, that they can keep each other safe but there's too much bad crap here for her to really believe it )
I guess there's some things it makes easier. I mean you already know us.
( And some of them can put up with some of the others's crap )
As long as we're all okay.
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[She pauses, scoffs.] It's fucked up, that a place like this is the one place we can all be together again.
[It scares her, because now she's not sure she wants to go back home.]
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( Sure things probably weren't as constantly bad as they were here but it didn't sound that great )
The psycho, the monsters. Sounds pretty fucked up.
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Yeah. [She shudders. Hope healed her bite wound, but the scar still twinges now and then, and the nightmares--
Well, they're not so bad now that Matt's here, but she still has them now and then.] I'm just glad we're here. Where we can watch out for each other.
[She'd told Ashley that they were badasses. She thinks now that they all are.]
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( They might all be together but it wasn't that safe. Why couldn't they have a break )
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Same. Someplace where we're all okay and nobody's trying to feed off of us.
[But for now, Emily will settle for this.]
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( Right now she isn't quite sure )
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[Having them crushed would hurt too much.]
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