Forget it. It's not like it's a great conversation.
( Beth suspects that part of Emily's apology is for the fact that she's dead as well as for them not talking to her about it but she hadn't wanted to think about. Yeah she's dead, and yeah the prank is what made them go out there and get caught, but Emily hadn't pushed her. It wasn't her fault )
Besides, there's been more important things happening.
( Zombies trying to kill them upped awkward conversations )
[It's hands down one of the worst conversations possible, so Emily is more than happy to move on from it. She can apologize until she's blue in the face, but it won't change the fact that back home, Beth is dead because Emily couldn't deal with Hannah's crush, or the insecurity of your boyfriend being class president.]
More life-threatening things, yeah. [More important... Emily's not sure. She hates not knowing.] It fucking sucks, just waiting for the next thing to happen.
[Emily doesn't take it that way anyway. She tends to block out the imagined details of what it must have been like for Beth and Hannah.]
Yeah. [She pauses, wonders if she should say this at all. Why not? They're being honest here.] When it was just Chris and Hannah and me, that was really hard. Ash and Josh disappeared one after the other, and it was just... rough. Like, we bonded and all of that, but it's a lot better with so many of us here now.
[Seeing them around almost makes it feel like nothing bad ever happened. Or, like Carlisle said, gives her hope that she can make up for the bad that did happen.]
More people to band together against the shit the gods do.
( If only they could do more about that shit, to have hope. Or more hope. She's always hoping that being together means that they'll be okay, that they can keep each other safe but there's too much bad crap here for her to really believe it )
I guess there's some things it makes easier. I mean you already know us.
( And some of them can put up with some of the others's crap )
I don't know. [She shrugs.] My friend Glacius says there might be. He wouldn't lie to me. [She pauses, sighs.] I don't want to get my hopes up, though.
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( Beth suspects that part of Emily's apology is for the fact that she's dead as well as for them not talking to her about it but she hadn't wanted to think about. Yeah she's dead, and yeah the prank is what made them go out there and get caught, but Emily hadn't pushed her. It wasn't her fault )
Besides, there's been more important things happening.
( Zombies trying to kill them upped awkward conversations )
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More life-threatening things, yeah. [More important... Emily's not sure. She hates not knowing.] It fucking sucks, just waiting for the next thing to happen.
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( It isn't meant as a dig about her own death, that they were out alone when they died, just that they're all together )
But yeah. It's pretty shit.
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Yeah. [She pauses, wonders if she should say this at all. Why not? They're being honest here.] When it was just Chris and Hannah and me, that was really hard. Ash and Josh disappeared one after the other, and it was just... rough. Like, we bonded and all of that, but it's a lot better with so many of us here now.
[Seeing them around almost makes it feel like nothing bad ever happened. Or, like Carlisle said, gives her hope that she can make up for the bad that did happen.]
More people to band together against the shit the gods do.
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( If only they could do more about that shit, to have hope. Or more hope. She's always hoping that being together means that they'll be okay, that they can keep each other safe but there's too much bad crap here for her to really believe it )
I guess there's some things it makes easier. I mean you already know us.
( And some of them can put up with some of the others's crap )
As long as we're all okay.
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[She pauses, scoffs.] It's fucked up, that a place like this is the one place we can all be together again.
[It scares her, because now she's not sure she wants to go back home.]
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( Sure things probably weren't as constantly bad as they were here but it didn't sound that great )
The psycho, the monsters. Sounds pretty fucked up.
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Yeah. [She shudders. Hope healed her bite wound, but the scar still twinges now and then, and the nightmares--
Well, they're not so bad now that Matt's here, but she still has them now and then.] I'm just glad we're here. Where we can watch out for each other.
[She'd told Ashley that they were badasses. She thinks now that they all are.]
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( They might all be together but it wasn't that safe. Why couldn't they have a break )
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Same. Someplace where we're all okay and nobody's trying to feed off of us.
[But for now, Emily will settle for this.]
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( Right now she isn't quite sure )
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[Having them crushed would hurt too much.]
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